Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Must have music

So yesterday I get dressed for the gym. I go to my purse to grab my iPod. I can't find it. I freak for a second and then remember where it is. It isn't lost. But it isn't with me either. I had no music while on the ellipitical yesterday. That 30 minutes felt a lot longer than 30 minutes. At least I had my trashy celebrity news to read. But music definitely makes the workout seem a lot easier. I burned fewer calories and didn't go as fast or as far as I usually do with my tunes.

I stole this next part of my post from Norman. I thought it was funny. Enjoy!

FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
FIVE MINUTES If she is getting dressed this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
NOTHING This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "Nothing" usually end in "Fine."
GO AHEAD This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
LOUD SIGH This is not actually a word, but it is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."
THAT'S OKAY This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
THANKS A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.
WHATEVER It's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU!
WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?! No, she's not hard of hearing. She's just giving you a chance to recant the stupid thing that just came out of your mouth and to either escalate the conflict by saying it louder (remember, you'll lose) or to come up with a clever substitute that sounds pretty close to it, like instead of saying, "That's why I hate you," you would say, "That's why I dated you." WARNING: If you try to use "Nothing" as a response, she won't accept it.

More on Paris

So apparently Sheriff Joe has offered to house Paris in Tent City in Phoenix. Oh, how wonderful would it be for Paris to hang out outside all day in the summer with no AC while eating bologna sandwiches. I get too much joy out of imagining her serving time. Cruel, I know. But who cares!
And apparently the Governator has no time to take her petition or pardon request into consideration. The comments are hilarious if you have a chance to look. Also someone posts the online petition begging to keep Paris out of jail. It is so lame. She probably wrote it herself. It is so childish. It of course refers to other celebrities who received a slap on the wrist--so apparently she should, too.

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