Round 2: Secret Pal
We have started the second round of Secret Pal. I had a gift in my mailbox yesterday. My SP gave me Christmas wine glass charms. I love those things.
This time we are only doing the round for one month. I think last time we did it for 9 weeks. That was a long time. I am already coming up with lots of fun ideas.
***UPDATE*** Just went to the mailroom and I had another SP gift in my mailbox. She gave me snowflake cookie cutters. Very cute!
Happy Wednesday!
Got this in an e-mail. Pretty funny!
Updated Employee Handbook
Dress Code It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers and carrying a $600 Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Bereavement Leave This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Restroom Use Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
Lunch Break Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation, and input should be directed elsewhere.
Have a nice day and get back to work!!
This time we are only doing the round for one month. I think last time we did it for 9 weeks. That was a long time. I am already coming up with lots of fun ideas.
***UPDATE*** Just went to the mailroom and I had another SP gift in my mailbox. She gave me snowflake cookie cutters. Very cute!
Happy Wednesday!
Got this in an e-mail. Pretty funny!
Updated Employee Handbook
Dress Code It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers and carrying a $600 Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Bereavement Leave This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Restroom Use Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
Lunch Break Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation, and input should be directed elsewhere.
Have a nice day and get back to work!!
1 Comments:
I was laughing up to the part about taking the picture in the bathroom stall. That's so wrong! hehe
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